The Terrorist-Breeding X-factor
Hey guys you can come home now, the war does not need to be fought any longer. It was just a phase; there will soon be no more terrorists anyway. See, we found the X-factor that explains where they are all coming from: it is POLYGAMY!
Oh, you say that sound strange? Let me explain from scratch:
Four years of fighting and we’re still kind of clueless about why we haven’t won. It’s like the more we kill, the more they breed. It has to be a root-difference between us and them. For example, why are they so, quote, “in love with death” and “so willing to commit suicide and take the whole earth with them in pursuit of their cause.”?
It all started with the first people on earth, several millions years ago. They were monogamous. Where people are not, there are wars. Like, in West Africa where young men claim the bush as revolutionaries. These guys were robbed of the chance to marry because the richer dudes married all women. Now they’re fighting back by raiding villages to get boobs.
Where you are, there are no monogamy either, not even when Mohamed lived. Polygamy was a Bedouin tradition; men could support several wives. When men died in wars, women could be provided for anyway and families would have a breadwinning father. Of course, the tribes fought a lot. They said it was because other tribes were not religious in a good way, but mostly they tried to steal each others women. Jihad and Conquest is their tradition. In the end, rich guys got too much sex, poor dudes got nada.
(Why is it always like that, anyway?)
You see where I am getting. Already we have three points: 1) they have a cause, are not afraid to die and are prepared to ruin the world to get their way; 2) They have multiple wives or no wives; 3) conquest is their history. They are totally not like us.
I learned this from Mr. Tucker who writes for The American Enterprise. He has evidence: Polygamy is mostly practiced in Saudi Arabia. What do we know about them? They are “best at producing roving jihadists who roam the world in search of conflict.” And why do they do that? Because they have: “A different male psychology … because they will not have the chance to reproduce.”
Notice ‘chance to reproduce’ because that is important and also kind of universal: I bet you guys miss your wives and therefore you can sympathize with the Arab guys who never get laid. Mr. Tucker says polygamy is unfair and it makes societies dysfunctional which in turn breeds terrorists. You see the X-factor clear now, I believe.
Then Mr. Tucker really has a smart suggestion for how to make peace in the world. He wants the United Nations to do their Human Rights Declaration Thing about the Right to Reproduce. All the countries in the world would together say (in different words) ‘hey man, you have the right to fuck a wife.’
Of course that would mean that the richer guys couldn’t marry more than one any longer since there might be a shortcut of skirts in the world and we have to be fair, one man – one woman; that is all. And we can be proud that America once more is exporting Justice to all less fortunate people in the world.
Back to my first point: The war is over. At most, ten percent of marriages in any society are polygamous. And that is mostly old people. It is not really popular with the young generation. When they grow up and when Mr. Tucker and the UN (with the help of Mr. Bolton I’d guess) made this cross-country law, the production of terrorists have stopped long time ago anyway. Statistically, related to y-number of polygamous marriages and z-number of boy-children born some twenty years ago plus q-those already married and engaged - and so on, there can’t be many of them left in the hill caves anyway.
Under these conditions it would not be good to stay since we would kill people, real people, for dubious reasons, you know what I mean? Let’s go home to your sweethearts guys, the war is over!
But before you go, let me just ask you: When you signed up, did you ever imagine that all this fuzz was about getting laid?
[polygamy!] [news!] [terrorism!] [islam!][egypt!]
Oh, you say that sound strange? Let me explain from scratch:
Four years of fighting and we’re still kind of clueless about why we haven’t won. It’s like the more we kill, the more they breed. It has to be a root-difference between us and them. For example, why are they so, quote, “in love with death” and “so willing to commit suicide and take the whole earth with them in pursuit of their cause.”?
It all started with the first people on earth, several millions years ago. They were monogamous. Where people are not, there are wars. Like, in West Africa where young men claim the bush as revolutionaries. These guys were robbed of the chance to marry because the richer dudes married all women. Now they’re fighting back by raiding villages to get boobs.
Where you are, there are no monogamy either, not even when Mohamed lived. Polygamy was a Bedouin tradition; men could support several wives. When men died in wars, women could be provided for anyway and families would have a breadwinning father. Of course, the tribes fought a lot. They said it was because other tribes were not religious in a good way, but mostly they tried to steal each others women. Jihad and Conquest is their tradition. In the end, rich guys got too much sex, poor dudes got nada.
(Why is it always like that, anyway?)
You see where I am getting. Already we have three points: 1) they have a cause, are not afraid to die and are prepared to ruin the world to get their way; 2) They have multiple wives or no wives; 3) conquest is their history. They are totally not like us.
I learned this from Mr. Tucker who writes for The American Enterprise. He has evidence: Polygamy is mostly practiced in Saudi Arabia. What do we know about them? They are “best at producing roving jihadists who roam the world in search of conflict.” And why do they do that? Because they have: “A different male psychology … because they will not have the chance to reproduce.”
Notice ‘chance to reproduce’ because that is important and also kind of universal: I bet you guys miss your wives and therefore you can sympathize with the Arab guys who never get laid. Mr. Tucker says polygamy is unfair and it makes societies dysfunctional which in turn breeds terrorists. You see the X-factor clear now, I believe.
Then Mr. Tucker really has a smart suggestion for how to make peace in the world. He wants the United Nations to do their Human Rights Declaration Thing about the Right to Reproduce. All the countries in the world would together say (in different words) ‘hey man, you have the right to fuck a wife.’
Of course that would mean that the richer guys couldn’t marry more than one any longer since there might be a shortcut of skirts in the world and we have to be fair, one man – one woman; that is all. And we can be proud that America once more is exporting Justice to all less fortunate people in the world.
Back to my first point: The war is over. At most, ten percent of marriages in any society are polygamous. And that is mostly old people. It is not really popular with the young generation. When they grow up and when Mr. Tucker and the UN (with the help of Mr. Bolton I’d guess) made this cross-country law, the production of terrorists have stopped long time ago anyway. Statistically, related to y-number of polygamous marriages and z-number of boy-children born some twenty years ago plus q-those already married and engaged - and so on, there can’t be many of them left in the hill caves anyway.
Under these conditions it would not be good to stay since we would kill people, real people, for dubious reasons, you know what I mean? Let’s go home to your sweethearts guys, the war is over!
But before you go, let me just ask you: When you signed up, did you ever imagine that all this fuzz was about getting laid?
[polygamy!] [news!] [terrorism!] [islam!][egypt!]
posted by ritzy @ 8:26 pm
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