Unlikely Election Candidate # 1

Name: Ayman Al-Zawahri
Current Position: Vice President, the Arab Al-Qaeda International Franchising Co. for Opposing Infidels.
Agenda: Radical Islamist-Nationalist-Fascist.
Nationality: Egypt
Location: Unknown, probably hiding between Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Plus: Allowed to campaign freely, he’d rally the masses to a point where Bush & Blair would get really scared.
Minus: All law-enforcing arms, plus some extra-legal branches, are chasing him with instructions that a shot in the forehead will do fine.
Career: Associated with the Muslim Brotherhood since age 15; founding member of Egyptian Islamic Jihad (that assassinated president Sadat); wanted for the bombing of US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania 1998; sentenced to death by Egyptian court for 1997 slaughter of tourists in Luxor. He is also a medical doctor.
Further reading: Al-Jazeera, Times