Why i-Pod, I Have Breasts

Musical breast implants: one boob could hold an MP3 player and the other the person's whole music collection. Yes; computer chips that store music could soon be built into the silicion pads.

And where is the volume control? 'Oh, sorry mam, was that your nipple only, I just wanted to make sure you can hear me.' And 'Hi Pam, is that a subwoofer in your breast?' But according to the inventors, the breast-player will be bluetoothed to a panel on the wrist.

There's more magic: the sensor can warn you about blood-pressure increases, diabetes and breast-cancer. Good. But does it really have to play Pavarotti too? I think I'll stick to the i-Pod in my pocket. It has a wood case.